crossrhodes

Just wanted to post an update on “James and The Giant Phone” bill before someone calls child protective services on us taking our teenager’s phone away like its a crime to terminate a privilege.

Operative word: priv-i-lege [noun] - a benefit enjoyed only by a person beyond the advantages of most.

After months of compromising and accomodating, we waited until after his 18th birthday to take the cell phone away for good. It was no surprise; he knew it was coming if he continued to run overages on our family plan. And he is, after all, gainfully employed.

When he turned 18, he was able to get a cell phone in his own name and pay for it on his own, too. It not only relieves us (parents) of fighting over minutes, but provides James with training wheels for the real world of responsible, bill-paying adults, and the freedom to do whatever he wants to do with his phone.

He also got his own teen checking account last year. It’s still tied to ours coz he was a minor when we opened it, but I think it’s time to hand that over to him completely, too. Then he can learn all about overdraft fees on his own without mommy flagging him whenever his balance draws close to zero.

I’ll tell you what he is NOT getting anytime soon: free reign on our car keys! Don’t even go there!

It feels like we’ve been in a constant state of destruction… ehem… I mean, CONstruction… for 2 years now. I’m only talking about inside the house, not counting the roof, landscaping, and hardscaping outside. It’s not like we bought a fixer-upper or anything. Its a basic, contemporary townhouse. Sure, it could use some upgrades. And my husband is great with home improvement projects. The problem is, he lacks the time. So, upgrading a space as little as a hallway is taking nearly 6 months to complete!

He added recessed lights, laid down tile flooring, replaced cabinet doors, and added decorative moulding. That’s just the hallway! I dread the day he starts working on the living and dining rooms, where I have been asking for recessed lights and new floors since we moved in 6 years ago!

Don’t get me wrong. I truly appreciate my husband’s skills and abilities. But it’s got to be one or the other: time or money. He either has the time to do it himself in a timely manner, or pay someone else to do it in a timely manner if it’s really that important. I can live with lenoleum floors for decades, but I can’t stand the messy state of construction for too long… especially where drywall dust is involved!!!

Clutter really messes with my head. I can’t help it, it puts me in a bad mood. Clutter has the same effect on me as listening to rap or country music, arguments on talk radio or court tv shows, or a group of gabbing teenage girls at the movie theater. Makes me want to scratch my eyes out!

P.S. I really, really do appreciate YOU, honey! Just not the mess.

I woke up on Sunday morning to James doing the dishes… VOLUNTARILY!!! After I teased Don to make pancakes for breakfast, we smelled something burning in the kitchen. It was James making pancakes… VOLUNTARILY!!!

I suggested he use the big griddle, instead of the tiny 6″ skillet, when making pancakes for the whole family. But, he said, he was only making pancakes for me!!! Hmmm… it’s neither my birthday nor Mother’s Day… what does he want from me?

Apparently, he feels that I don’t “like” him anymore and that I’ve disliked him since I’ve been pregnant. He is correct that I’ve disliked him lately, but he didn’t even consider that it may be due to the change in his attitude and behavior since he “fell in love.” It so happened that he got into his first serious relationship around the same time we found out about the baby. He can blame prenatal hormones for my lack of tolerance, but he can’t dismiss the fact that he’s been acting stupid lately, too.

By annoying, I’m not just talking about the googley-gaga puppy love look on his face. I’m talking about really irritating behavior like consistently running cell phone overages on our family plan to talk to his girlfriend for hours, even after months of compromising and increasing our minutes to accomodate him. Or having to drive him to school coz he was up late on the phone with his girlfriend and missed the bus the next morning. Or finding out that while he was supposed to be at work, he rode his bicycle for 30 miles ON THE HIGHWAY to see his girlfriend instead. Or applying to military academies just to change his mind at the last minute because he doesn’t want to be away from his girlfriend. Or re-appyling to colleges when he was convinced that his girlfriend was going to leave him after high school anyway. Or “borrowing” our cell phones without asking after we’ve taken his away.

Those are just a few examples. But nooo, they couldn’t possibly have anything to do with my being annoyed with him, could they? Teenagers in general, especially in packs, annoy the heck out of me anyway.

I told him that my younger sister used to irritate me to no end when she was his age, but I would still lay down my life for her. I may dislike his attitude and behavior, but I don’t love him any less, baby or no baby. I reminded him that he doesn’t like me all the time either, especially when he doesn’t get his way, but he still loves me enough to make me pancakes for breakfast! And even if they were burnt outside and undercooked inside, I still ate them! Isn’t THAT what it all boils down to?

While my in-laws were visiting, my MIL suggested I register for a bouncer or swing. She said nothing else soothed my colicky nephew. My other nephew was colicky, too, but his mom said the carseat was enough to soothe him. I was going to pass on them altogether and stick with a $20 baby sling, especially since the cost of the better swings do not justify the short amount of time the baby will use it.

But someone on Craigslist was selling a Fisher-Price Papasan Cradle Swing for 50% OFF the retail price!!! I can’t pass up a deal like that. Besides the 4.5/5 stars given by 800+ reviewers on Amazon, my sister swears by this specific model. That’s good enough for me! Again, it’s one of those things I can re-sell if I don’t end up using it.

I am weary about using swings. I don’t want it to become a mother-alternative. Newborns are soothed by motion because its what they experienced in the womb and the attached mobiles are great for visual stimulation. But carrying baby in a sling while mom goes about her business does the same thing, doesn’t it? Plus, there are bonding and sensory benefits to babywearing that can’t be found in a bouncer or swing.

Well, I grabbed a good deal on a swing and will hold on to it until the baby arrives. We’ll see how it goes from there. I’m hoping I won’t have to use it at all because I’m positive I’m having a low-maintenance, unfussy, non-colicky baby. *LOL* Yeah, right!

If you’re new to the centuries-old concept of babywearing as I am, check out these links to learn more:

• Great things about babywearing and what it looks like cross-culturally.
• The benefits of babywearing by Dr. Eckhard Bonnet.
• Fussy babies and babywearing by Dr. William Sears.
• Hotslings Wearing Instructions - a YouTube video.
• For animal lovers, pictures of Baby Carriers of the Animal Kingdom.

If you have experience with babywearing, which type of carrier did you like best??? Just from looking at these pics online, I think I prefer the ring slings and pouches over buckle carriers, wraps, and Mei Tais. I like the adjustability of ring slings, but the pouches look to be the least cumbersome and come in a light mesh material for hot summer days and dipping in the pool with baby. I found adjustable pouches by Kangaroo Korner but they’re kinda pricey at $60+ Then again, they’re good for up to a 1-2 year old kid. Tell me what you know and think about these different types of carriers! Thank you!

Shopping on Craigslist is like sorting thru the clearance racks at TJ Maxx. I HATE IT!!! I like things organized, categorized, and visually appealing. Craigslist gives me such a headache but, boy, did we find some fantastic deals this week!!!

There are a few baby things I am willing to buy used. A hospital-grade breastpump is one of them. The interior parts are sealed to prevent cross-contamination. I just need to replace the tubes and bottles.

I found the top of the line Medela Pump In Style Advanced Backpack ($320 retail) for $100!!! I don’t know if I’ll end up using it. I do plan to breastfeed but I recently learned that there are factors that could prevent me from doing so. In which case, I’ll re-sell it for the same or higher price than I paid.

So, where do all these parts go and how do you use this thing?!?!?!