crossrhodes

Recently I’ve been getting pop up ads that look like Windows error messages. The ad is for software to block pop up ads. I believe the ads are coming from one source so I followed the link on the pop up. For a one-time fee of $9.95, I can buy their software to stop these pop ups on my computer. WHAT A SCAAAAM!!! They bombard me with ads without my permission and they want me to pay them to stop??? What MBA dropout came up with that business model???

My region is hosting this year’s Business Plan review, apparently an important annual corporate event. Since the countdown, everyone at work is running around like a chicken with no head. I worked a 10hr day today for the first time since I’ve been married. I can’t say I miss “living” in the office like I did when I was single. But I was reminded of the temporary satisfaction of hiding behind one’s career (keyword - temporary).

So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

….come to think of it, it would be nice to have any kind of feeling these days. Okay, so not just any kind of feeling. I meant PASSIONATE feelings about something… anything! I’m so far removed from my passions during the every day routine of work and home, work and home, work and home. Guess this is the life of an earthling, huh? Thank God there’s a heaven and I’m just a-passing through! (Can I get a witness? Do I hear an Amen?)

My sister’s disappointed that James is missing from the family wedding pictures. It’s too bad he has to go away every summer coz he misses out on family stuff. At the same time, I’m glad for the parenting break.

I think I’m the only one who is still conscious of James as a “step” child. My family doesn’t seem to distinguish the difference anymore. My sister makes a point to say she’s disappointed that he’s not in “our” family pictures. My mom buys him stuff and sets aside food for him as she does for her biological apos [grand children]. My sister-in-law asks for him when I show up in Staten Island without him. I expect my sister’s new husband to love Jezzamine like his own child. Why can’t I do the same? After over 3 yrs of being a family, I’m still waiting for the lovey-dovey mommy affection to befall me. Perhaps it will never happen. If the Lord asked me tomorrow if I had loved the child he placed in my hands, I’m confident that I’ve done so with the biblical definition of love as an action. But sometimes it would be nice to love him in feelings, too.

Did I mention that my parents came over for dinner the night I brought a hundred crabs home? Amazing how quickly news travels to my mom when steamed crabs are involved. I thought I would have crabs for a week but we finished it all in one sitting. That’s okay… my mom can come over anytime.